There Will Be No Waiting for a Taxi in Hell

I arrived in Puerto Vallarta around 5:30pm. As soon as I left the terminal, the taxi kiosks were shouting for my attention. When I asked how much to go to my intended destination, I was told $22USD. That seemed absurd. (Lonely Planet suggested that $8USD was the norm and $13 was the high side.) I decided to take my chances dealing directly with the taxis. This was not as I would have hoped, since all of the taxis seem to go through one or two dispatchers who set the prices. I haggled with one of the dispatchers and got it down to $15USD.

After pulling away from the terminal but before leaving the airport, the driver pulled up to a roadside kiosk. There was a discussion with the woman there, the slip with my fare quote was handed back and forth, and I was told that the fare would be $22.

"Do you want to pay the extra $7?" I was asked.

"No, I would not!" I said. "We already agreed on the fare. I'm not paying more than the $15 that was agreed on."

At this, the driver took me back to the terminal. I had no beef with him or he with me--the setting of the price did not involve him. On the way there, I asked him where the bus stop was, since I knew that there was one next to the airport. He pointed me to it, and I took my bags and headed over there, pissed.

When I saw the buses, my heart sank. Because of the time of day, they were packed. I was not going to drag my bags onto one. But I also saw something else--by taking the footbridge to the other side of the street, I could grab one of the taxis waiting there. These taxis were not part of the airport taxi machine. I crossed over, told the driver where I wanted to go, and was immediately quoted a price of 150 pesos (about $13.50). Without thinking, I accepted right away. I immediately thought, "Doh! You were supposed to haggle you idiot!" I didn't care, Even if it was overpriced, it was still better than caving to the airport taxi people.

So, you are probably asking yourself, "Why the hell did he go through all this trouble over eight measly dollars?" Simple. I hate taxi drivers. Well, that's not true--many of them are great, honest, and very helpful. But all too many are total scheisters who make travel a pain in the ass. The ones at airports and train stations are the worst. Like so many people in the travel industry, these unscrupulous taxi drivers know that you are in a vulnerable position as a stranger to wherever you are. They can gouge you (which they have tried to do to me in many places and have probably succeeded more times than I would care to admit.) They can take you on circuitous routes to run up the meter (which one tried to do in Hanoi--fortunatel, Thien was with me and caught him). They will tell you that your chosen hotel is crappy or no longer exists so that they can take you to a hotel that will give them a commission (which one tried to do in Bangalore). And, of course, there are horror stories about the really evil ones--the ones that take you to get robbed or worse. I'm sure there is a special circle of hell reserved for taxi drivers.

Because of problems with taxis screwing over unsuspecting people just arriving in a city, some airports regulate the taxis. You pay your fare (based on where you are going) at a taxi stand and don't have to negotiate with the driver. Bangkok airport has this sytem and it works great. Puerto Vallarta has this system and it is not great. The difference: the regulated airport taxis in Bangkok are fairly priced to make sure you don't get screwed, while the regulated airport taxis in Puerto Vallarta are priced (apparently) to make sure you do get screwed.

The trick of going across the street from the airport to get a taxi is a common one which I have used before. They are invariably cheaper (if you don't let them overcharge you) because they do not have to pay any of the fees that the airport charges taxis. Thus, even if taxis are metered, you save money. For non-metered areas, these taxis are a free market since there is no price fixing as was the case in the Puerto Vallarta airport.

Sometimes it is useful to use the taxis outside the airport simply because there is a long wait for the taxis inside the airport. For example, I normally used the taxi kiosks at the Bangkok airport, but once when I saw that there was a 20 minute wait for a taxi, I crossed the street and hopped right in a cab. (The new airport is connected to Bangkok via subway, so I don't usually bother with taxis there anymore.)

Puerto Vallarta was the first time I left the airport to get a taxi because I felt I was being gouged. Note that it wasn't so much that the ride was overpriced, but that a deal had been negotiated and was then broken. Being gouged or deceived does not shock me, but just outright going back on a deal--I was shocked.

Anyway, the driver taking me to central Puerto Vallarta was just fine. We had a very brief conversation in Spanish which consisted mainly of him asking me if I spoke Spanish, me saying that I spoke very little, and him saying that he also spoke very little English.